Internal Family Systems Therapy in New Mexico & Colorado
What if the parts of you that you struggle with are actually trying to protect you?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach that helps you understand the different “parts” of yourself and the roles they play in your life.
Maybe one part of you is constantly overthinking. Another pushes you to achieve, stay productive, or keep everyone happy. Another shuts down when things become too much. You might even have a part that is incredibly hard on you when you don't meet your own expectations.
IFS invites us to become curious about these parts rather than judging them or trying to get rid of them.
Your protective patterns make sense.
Many of our parts developed in response to experiences we had and the ways we learned to stay safe, connected, or in control. A perfectionistic part may be trying to protect you from failure or rejection. A people-pleasing part may have learned that keeping others happy helps maintain connection. An anxious part may believe that anticipating every possible problem can keep you safe.
That doesn't mean these patterns are always helpful now. It means we can approach them with compassion and ask, “What is this part trying to do for me?”
What might a session look like?
You might come to session feeling overwhelmed by a particular pattern, emotion, or internal conflict. Together, we may slow down and notice which part of you is present. Rather than analyzing it from the outside, I'll help you get curious about what that part feels, believes, fears, and is trying to accomplish.
You might notice a critical voice, an urge to shut down, a familiar body sensation, or a strong emotional reaction. We can gently build a relationship with that part and explore what it may need from you now.
You don't have to force anything or make a part disappear. The process is about creating enough safety and curiosity for your different parts to feel heard.
Getting to know yourself differently
IFS also recognizes a grounded, compassionate core of you often referred to as Self. As your protective parts feel heard and understood, they may not have to work quite so hard. This can create more room for curiosity, confidence, connection, and choice.
IFS can be particularly supportive when you're struggling with perfectionism, people-pleasing, shame, anxiety, relationship patterns, inner criticism, or feeling caught between different wants and needs.
If you’re an empath or highly sensitive person, you might find yourself absorbing other people’s emotions, taking responsibility for how others feel, or losing touch with your own needs. Your sensitivity and empathy may be an innate part of who you are, while some of the ways you’ve learned to navigate that sensitivity may have roots in trauma. You may have parts of you that learned to closely monitor others, anticipate their needs, or keep the peace as a way of staying safe and connected. There is a reason your parts learned what they learned. We can get curious about those reasons, connect with the younger parts of you that may still be carrying old wounds and protective strategies, so we can offer them the care and compassion they needed back then. Through this work, we can begin to soften the patterns that once helped you survive while making room for more choice, self-trust, and connection with yourself.
